After receiving the email from my father, I began to give deep thought as to what he and my friends had said. In some respects, I thought each of them had ideas that absolutely needed to be implemented in my relationship with Samantha. I needed some time to digest them and then I needed to communicate them to her.

It would be another week of studying the Italian wine world, and then it was time for a visit to Boston. It would be a short visit, as she was well into classes and had no foreseeable break. Instead, I would have to make a plan for the weekend that would involve some quality time to share with her what I had learned. There was no plan to mention my friends and their thoughts individually. I rather planned to present these ideas as my own.

On the journey from Vermont to Massachusetts, I gathered my thoughts and began to formulate a plan as to how to gently present them. It was cold, and my first thought of a picnic would have to be reserved for another time. A nice dinner with wine seemed too serious, even though as it were very serious topics I planned to approach. I wanted a low-stress environment in which to present my ideas. Surely I could think of an activity, as that would reduce some anxiety from the seriousness of the conversation and my quest for answers.

I decided that I would take Samantha out for pizza and go bowling. Surely there was a place in Boston where you could have a slice and enjoy a good match among the lanes.

On Friday evening we went to dinner and in general just caught up on life. Her classes were getting harder and keeping her very busy. A Friday nite out was something that she had made a specific event on her calendar to blow off some steam from the week behind. We had tapas at a boutique Spanish bar with some of her schoolmates. I had met most of them previously. As we had dinner and they talked among themselves, my thoughts drifted to Saturday evening. My planning had to be flawless and my dialogue precise.

After several rounds of tapas and a few beers, we retreated back to her dorm. As usual, her roommate found other accommodations for the weekend so we had the room to ourselves. I pondered the idea of letting some of the discussion flow on Friday nite and thru the weekend, but a focused approach to Saturday seemed like a wise choice after all. I did, however, let her know that there was some topics that I wanted to discuss over bowling and she nodded in agreement. She seemed comfortable with the idea, even though I was the one who was uneasy. I was worried how my barrage of questioning might have on the outcome of our Saturday date.

On Saturday morning we had a lite breakfast in the dining hall. I helped her do some laundry after breakfast and we laid in her bed and talked about my study of Italy. She wanted the latest scoop on my plans to visit wineries and vineyards in Tuscany. I was happy to oblige.

A local bowling alley was easily found and they had pizza to order upon request from the kitchen. Our spot also had a large selection of beer on tap. Surely a few beers would lighten the atmosphere for conversation. It was after the first game, a slice and a few beers before I started asking questions. There was no easy question, so I started with one and went to the other. To my surprise, the answers that I would get were in line with or better than what I had hoped for.

Samantha thought we should have a specific "date-nite" once a week. Whether it was dinner and a movie at home or a nite out on the town doing a specific activity, once a week was her answer to the question. She additionally felt that we should take a road trip once every ninety days and travel internationally for two weeks each year as it would benefit us and my expertise with respect to my job.

I thought we might butt heads on the issues of finance and leadership, but I was impressed by her answers with respect to these as well. She absolutely wanted to be in the passenger seat with respect to both. While she enjoyed nice things, she thought that large purchases ought to be discussed and agreed upon. She additionally felt that putting money into the home and retirement were critically important. While she had her ideas, she wanted the responsibility for the finances to fall on my shoulders.

On leadership, she also wanted to take a passenger seat, and more preferably; a back seat. She wanted me to be the leader of our household. While she always wanted to be a person to consult and to have her opinions heard, she ultimately wanted the decisions to be made by yours truly.

Having digested all of this information in an afternoon, I felt a release of pressure emanate from my body. On paper, I had received the answers that I wanted. I was able to make a check mark in all the right boxes; so to speak; and I was confident in her answers. While Tuscany was still probably going to be a proving ground for the information that was just relayed, I felt at ease about continuing to plan the trip with this newfound information.