Samantha and I left for Boston before the sun rose the following day. We each knew that perhaps the weather would not be forgiving in some places and that the trip was long to start with. We would be returning to Boston first and then Andrew and I would return to Burlington.

I was quiet for most of the way. There was a few times when Samantha brought up our long discussion at the mall, but each time I tried to shift the discussion in another direction. I was in no mood to talk about a wedding, even though I had with some relative enthusiasm just two days before. I hoped and prayed that Samantha could not see thru my new found confusion.

Sensing that she knew somehow, I turned on the radio. I was able to get her to sing along with me, even though I was not in the mood. It worked for a while. As I looked out the window, the fog and gloomy skies seemed to be a reflection of my own inner mood.

Many hours later, we finally reached Boston. Samantha asked what was wrong, to which I simply stated that I was tired. While the bulk of the trip had been relaxing, my mood had now made a colossal shift that I was trying to hide. She accepted my answer with some skepticism, and we kissed and hugged. I watched her return to her dorm where she waved from the front steps before I drove away.

I thought on the drive over about telling Andrew. However, I decided at this point that I would have to figure this one out on my own. I felt a letter brewing up; as I felt I needed Dad's guidance. In the end, I had resigned to the fact that only I could make, and feel comfortable, with the final decision. It would take some soul-searching, but I had time left in Vermont to be alone with my thoughts.

Andrew and I made it into Burlington around midnight. We were both tired from the journey, and spoke only a few times to keep each other awake. While I wanted to tell someone what I was thinking, I reserved the first emotions for a letter to my father. I needed to get my thoughts down on paper.